WTF is wrong with me!

Well I can't feel blue for long with ALL you guys around!
The visuals actually have me crackin up too.
Sorry for the pain you all experienced, especially you Melanie our newbie. Barfing is a hell of a learning tool but it will stick (npi).
Hey, it brings some excitement to that boring chore called eating. LOL.
Yikes!

Dennis

 Hey,
You are not a slow learner!!!!  As evidenced, MANY of us have not learned!  But, you have surely entertained everyone with your experience that many WLS folks can relate to.  Thank you for that!   The first thing to overcoming a problem is to acknowledge it---you have...and so, you will do better next time!  Good luck!

WOW!! I believe the images spoken of here are forever burned in my mind.  Thank you Melanie and others for another useful tool in my toolbox-oh and I will eat with baby silverware.

I haven't had my surgery yet so thanks for all your examples of what not to do.

Been there, done that, twice. LOL

Just keep something to drink, like a protein shake or smoothie, with you so that you can drink that while you wait for your food. The other trick I use is to keep a South Beach bar with me, but ONLY  the Crispy Meal Bar chocolate peanut butter ones because they are NO sugar/ all sugar alcohol ones.

 

Believe me you WILL learn, but for some of us it takes a few times.

 

OMG.
Thanks for making my already aching belly ache just a little bit more (plastic surgery post-op pain.
I am over three years out, still inhale my food, but once I've sent something down into the black hole, it NEVER returns.
I am the unlucky one who just gets to have all of the symptoms of dumping for an hour or two WITHOUT being able to vomit or have the runs. 
BUT i would opt for the projectile vomiting if I had my choice.
My son would LOVE IT and would likely try to start a competition.
Thank GOD I only had one boy...
Thanks for the HUGE laughs from everyone!
Oh....now it's time for a pain med...

Shauna

Don't worry Shauan, I am a member of the black hole club myself.  I'm really good at spitting up foamies and having my nose run into the toilet, however!

Pam

I hate to say I enjoyed your story, but I did.  And it makes me feel better that I am not the only person who this happens to.  My 15 year old son is CONSTANTLY telling me "slow down" or "eat slowly mom."  Eating slowly has to be the HARDEST thing to get used to since surgery.  Hopefully you didn't miss too much of the Phillies game cleaning up after yourself!  :) 
JENNIFER W